30 March 2019

Prose from Women's Day thoughts 2015

I was thinking today about transgender people. Let me start by saying that I am an LGBTQ advocate and an ally. I identify on the spectrum and stand up for and will fight for their right to exist, live openly, love and marry who they want and have the same rights as any other member of the human race should have. I will not tolerate any humor, comments, or behaviors which insult LGBTQ individuals. So if you want to make one based on my observations to follow, please refrain.

My observations are that there tends to be more media, articles and statistics around trans women (individuals who were born as males but who identify as women). There seems to be less media, fewer articles and fewer statistics (in my limited research) on trans men (individuals who were born female but who identify as men).

I wondered why this was and even asked a few people. They said that it could be that much of society is used to seeing women wearing traditionally thought of as male clothes such as pants, shirts, even neck ties. And therefore, trans men may blend with the populace more than trans women. Society in general seems to find the sight of an individual they identify as male wearing clothing they associate with females, such as skirts, dresses, feminine blouses, etc. as repulsive, gross, threatening, etc.

I thought about why women in so many cultures began to wear clothing traditionally associated with men. In many ways, it was to try to gain similar status in society as men. It was for convenience as well. But by and large, women moved to wearing traditionally thought of clothing for men as a way to be perceived by society as more masculine, and therefore more powerful and all the other stuff people think of men in general society.

It is not poppycock to say that many people in many cultures view men as more powerful, both physically as well as financially and emotionally. Men have more control in world affairs, finances, properties, and often times in homes. In some cultures, women's statuses are so low that they can be literally sold for dowry, married off without a single thought, even as young as 5 years of age, and have no rights or money whatsoever. Even in cultures where women have so called equal rights, they still get paid less, have less authority overall, and are treated as lesser beings in many integral realms of society, from science to medicine and many other areas.

So, could society's generally lowered opinion of women as being a gender with less power, rights and status be why society is so outraged to see a man in women's clothing? Does it threaten people because they are confused seeing a man, who they perceive as powerful in general, wearing the trappings of a gender they see as weak and less powerful?

I think it's a result of cognitive dissonance that makes so many people react so violently towards trans women. So many people are unable to handle when a belief or ideal which is solidly formed in their heads is challenged by another belief or ideal which goes against that rock solid belief or ideal they hold. In other words, many people have a solid belief that men are supposed to act, talk, feel and look a certain way, and women are supposed to act, talk, feel and look another certain way. And in that belief, men are powerful and women are weaker. And when they see a man wearing feminine clothing and acting, talking and feeling in ways they think are feminine, their minds melt down. And instead of acting intelligently, they act violently.

As we approach World Women's Day and celebrate women's rights, and make promises for how we can make women's lives better, I challenge you to also open your minds and accept trans women.

They are women also, they fight battles every day to be the woman they want to be and know themselves to be. They did not wake one day and decide to dress and act and look like the gender they weren't assigned at birth. They don't laugh manically at their reflection in the mirror, thinking of all the horror and petty minded crap they existence will conjure in the heads of so many.

No, rather, they have spent years in conflict, terrified of revealing their inner, beautiful selves. Inside, they are humans who love, cry, dislike, dream and hope just like any gender, like any HUMAN. And when they walk among us, wearing the clothes and accessories society has assigned to women, they are telling the world: I am a woman, but I am a human also. Embrace me, accept me, allow me life as a woman and as a human. Not as your ideal, not as your belief of gender. But as a woman and a human.

And if you cannot handle that, then take a closer look at yourself.

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